Seriously right now, I am confused. Really confused. Something inside of me don't really wanna keep him with me, but I kinda feel pity for leaving him for all these years. 4 years together and this is what we get. Should I finally say, There is really no love at first sight? I guess so. Instead, pitying the years spent together, I don't really miss the times we had. I missed the times I spent with his family. They were really nice to me all these while.
His mom has called me yesterday and today. Seriously, she is the one hoping we would continue further whereas her son, no longer looks forward to it. Why would I say such words? That's because he isn't doing nothing to save this relationship. Since the 2nd, we've been in this condition. I haven't been SMS'ing him, Receiving his calls and replying his messages at all. I would like to see him work for it for once. He isn't. Not being able to contact me isn't a good excuse. There is just so many ways to figure out how to persuade me, how to find me, but he isn't doing any of it! Why? Let's just say he doesn't bother to care anymore.
I went to lunch with my bestie today. We had lunch at Foh San. I was talking to him mom on speaker mode with Bestie sitting next to me in the car. All his mom could say was to give him a chance and the reasons and excuses she made was only so I could forgive him. I told her, I won't do nothing and say nothing to him until he does something. Well...
After lunch, I dropped my bestie to Ipoh Parade so I could zoom off to his place. I didn't want to notify anyone until I got there in case you know, they inform him I was there. I knew he was working til 6pm today so I went there happily knowing he isn't there! Arrived there and called his sister-in-law to open the gate so I could go in to take my expensive belongings. Believe me, it was almost a whole bag full. I didn't take down my picture with him, the stuff I gave him and my toothbrush. I wanted some obvious stuff to be there to remind him of how guilty he is. After taking my expensive stuff from his drawer, believe me, the drawer was more than 50% empty. I then proceeded to take the pillow he gave me on the 1st year of dating away from his bed. I sat on the floor and chatted with his mother awhile, before heading out the door again. Will it be my last time being there? I wouldn't dare promise you anything. However, this I can say is, we'll see what time will bring...
Zoomed off the meet Chanelle again at Parade and I bought loads of clothes. Shopping really is a girl's best friend, adding on that my bestie is here for me to go through it! The day could not go any better. I spent almost RM200 buying clothes I look good in and hopefully I would grab someone's attention? Haha...
Clothes above are from Voir and below from Khakis.
From now on, I should say I don't rush into any relationships anymore. It's just stupid. I shall just date people and not think about much. Perhaps dating for a year or two, then have an official partner? I don't know. Dare not conclude anything here...
For those who would know what he has said or sent to me on SMS for these few singlehood days of mine, enjoy reading. I'm sorry but it's in Chinese coz he sent it to me in chinese. Would mean something else if I translated it wouldn't it?
friday 11.06pm想怎样？
saturday 9.19am
到底想点样？有事就跟我讲咯！到处跟别人讲，还给信息我爸爸，每个人都问我什么事！玩什么噢？
saturday 9.41am
你寄信息给我全家人像点样喔？！就算有事都不需要这样做吧
Saturday 7.23pm
你有什么决定到底想怎样做至少也讲一声给我知道好吗现在失去联络了算怎样喔
today 12.21am
可以讲清楚吗
today 6.35pm
没声没气来我家拿完全部东西算什么意思就算不要在一起都讲清楚咯东西可以拿给你
today 6.54pm
搞到我爸爸血压高昨天去看医生晚上睡不着 真是不知你想点 有不讲又不回复我
Went out dinner with dad and mom at town. Came home feeling miserable. Saw many things and heard many things that reminded me of him. Yes, I know I said I am over him already, but 4 years of relationship now, please don't expect me to be over him 100% yet... Forgive me please.
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